9 Oct 2013
Bad bad bad day... is everyday seems like the same to me. My working Section head msg me abt my mistake dat i made on my work day which is 1 day ago, dat i admitted is my mistake, my fault, will be more careful next time, but he wont understand me, so is fine i dont bother to fight back cause is my mistake already & i promised dat wont let it happen again.
Secondly, had a fight with dad normally i dont fight back but this time i have to do something before i loses myself again. We often fight about some small matters dat i dont really care about but this time is concern about money (the root of evil) worst still is my hard earn money dat i gave to him so he can use to pay whatever he wants to pay BUT he didn't & he told me dat my money is never enough for him.
Each time i grave him money he always said is not enough blah blah blah... & im sick of his excuses. Yeah is true he grave me money to school when im young but he never once takes care of me, he never ask me why im been sad, why my hands & legs all covered with bruises.
Both my parents were a busy workaholic i seldom sees them much , the only time when we were together is dinner time but it was a disaster at the table each time. We always sat down quietly & eat, but after a while when mom starts to tell dad about my stuffs or my sister stuffs or money, there goes for a prefect quiet dinner.
Mom & Dad can never be sat down quietly & talk things out. all they do is to fight with each other saying who is who responsibility so and so... sometime i wish i never born & had my younger sister, my brother was used to it. Things get worse after my younger sister were born. Eventually the whole house turned upside down & my life is never uplift ever since im a little kid always seen both parents fights at home, always alone at home (when im younger), got bully in school & i always kept quiet not to say anything to provoke them, but not after i grew older i got to understands why mom have to leave dad.
Had always been told dat im not strong enough, not trying hard enough, not fighting my every best. I'm so so so so tired of life almost the time i wish dat i could just shut my eyes & leave just like what mom did. But i couldn't, i hold a responsibility to my sister after Mom left. always had this till im gone to this world, always been under pressure both home & work. Now just tell me how am i gotta have a good day & stay happy of all this awful things happen around?
is just too much for me.
（ToT）
